Monday, April 10, 2006

Boiling Point

The flames are high. I am definitely at boiling point.

I am a worrier. I worry about everything, to the level of physical illness. Which is bad, cuz I hate doctors and hospitals.

I don't have room in my brain for everything that wants to reside in there, be it temporarily or forever and a day, or anything in between.

I have frazzled myself into an eerie sense of calm. It is unbelievable. Have I tricked myself into thinking that my faith is that strong or steadfast? Maybe it's not a trick, and I am finally able to achieve this euphoria that spirit-filled people refer to as Faith.

I don't even inhale and exhale anymore. All I ever do these days is gasp and sigh. Sometimes I'm not even sure what day of the week it is. But as promised, I have gotten better with age. Because now, in the midst of all this stress and uncertainty, I see a light at the end of the tunnel. Even if I don't want to believe that I actually see that light, I force myself. Because I will bubble over with anxiety if I don't.

I purge in small amounts when I get opportunities, such as this one. Because Anxiety is a Sleep Thief. It is a Control Thief. I cannnot and will not let it get the best of me.

Tommorrow is a new day.

*SIGH*

There I go again.

3 Comments:

At 10:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have learned that anxiety and fear are the tools that the devil use to distract you from the wonderful things that God has in store for you. The battle we battle everyday, is in the battlefield of our minds.

 
At 4:35 PM, Blogger Ambz said...

Anxiety gets me too, even when I don't think it's an issue... it's a sleep stealer, FOREAL.

 
At 10:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey there, How ya' been?

Don't want to sound cruel, but a friend of mine once said, "'If you have a problem, worry about it, 'cause 99% of the stuff you worry about won't happen.'"

Best advice I've had in a while.

 

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