Home for the Holidays
A quick recap of my holiday vacation extravaganza:
I did most of my gifting the homemade and internet route, so not too much last minute shopping. Yay. I did pick out my mom's gift from my dad, and much to all of our surprise, she actually liked it and for the first time in years, won't be taking it back. Double Yay.
I've only been here for a week and have already been to IHOP twice. Next week will be Waffle House, and first week back in NY - Chez Diet.
My gifts were spectacular to say the least, and this year, they will all fit into my luggage!
Went down to my grandmother's farm for the Annual Family Gathering. Always a blast. Shitload of food. And no one looking at you funny when you get seconds or thirds - in fact; it's damn near a requirement. For out little Christmas program, my little cousins only played us half of their Christmas concert material with their little instruments, and as a bonus encore, my quiet little cousin blew out an instrumental version of (my favorite Southern anthem at the moment) "Laffy Taffy" on her flute. It was f-ing classic. Then my littlest cousin, after singing the usual boring Christmas carols, sang us a chorus of "My Name Is Charlie" from Charlie Wilson. Imagine a six-year-old singing about getting that number so he can take you out sometime. And I have it on video! On top of that, he gave me a beautiful picture of Spongebob Squarepants to put on my fridge.
My mother did not find some way to embarass like she normally does. And my family has FINALLY realized that I am too old to stand up in front of them and sing on demand.
No fights over where folks were gonna sleep, and there is a new generation of young 'uns for clean-up duty. And, no lie, my granny bought me a teddy for Christmas. Not a bear, but actual lingerie. I kid you not.
Woke up to a good old-fashioned country breakfast, which included a bowl of butter with a few grits sprinkled in, pan-fried pork sausage, eggs made in the same skillet as the sausage, and fresh coffee brewed on the stove, because my grandmother has never operated a coffee-maker in her life. God bless her.
Went outside and took a few pictures with the cows and the beautiful backdrop that is my granny's backyard. Went to go see my 90-year-old great-grandmother (Big Momma is what we call her) and had a conversation with her. She is still as sharp as a tack. My other grandmother did not have nearly as many ailments as she usually has (Somtimes I'm tempted to ask her what's
right instead of what's wrong - shorter list.) Spent some time with my biological father and actually didn't want to roll my eyes and walk away from him once. He actually gave me a present this year. It was used, but it's a start.
And now I'm chillin'. Spending time with the family. Getting in touch with old friends.
Just like Beyonce', Queen Latifah and dem on the Wal-Mart commercials, I love being home for the holidays.
Reflecting...
As the holiday season sets in and the year is coming to end (and as I've had a lot of time on my hands lately), I've been reflecting over some things. One of the things is friendship. I value my friends almost as much as I value my family.
A year is a long time. Long enough to strengthen friendships, and long enough for some friendships to be put to the test. It is also long enough for some friends' season to be up, and their reason to be validated, and another year tacked onto their lifetime committment. I have learned to take all of these in stride.
For a sensitive gal like myself, anytime I evaluate my relationships, and things change (for better or worse) I get a tug at my heart strings. It's as natural as breathing to me.
So I want to take this opportunity to say to all of my friends - Thank You. Thank you for allowing me to be your friend, and thank you for allowing me to be a friend to you (because we all know that sometimes the gift is the giving). Thank you for having my back in the blog world and beyond. Thanks for your tolerance. ;o) I won't list names; you know who you are. If you aren't sure, try not to guage it by how much we see each other, how much we call each other, what we've done for each other, whether or not we borrow each other's clothes, and other miscellaneous stuff like that. Here are some things I think about when I think about my friends:
How well you
really know me and vice versa.
how much I talk about you in your absence.
How many times we have finished each other's sentences.
how well we get along, even if the zodiac says we shouldn't.
if my mother knows who I'm talking about when I say your name in conversation.
laughter we have shared, cuz you know
I love to laugh!
whether or not a day goes by when you don't cross my mind at least once.
If I smile when someone says your name out of the blue.
you've seen me and loved me at my worst.
you've seen me and loved me at my best.
and so on so forth...
You can probably fill in a hundred more things. I can think a half dozen catch phrases.
Boyfriends come and go, but friends last forever. Make new friends, but keep the old - one is silver and the other gold. Take a second to fully enjoy this sappy moment...
So yeah...just like the Golden Girls...
**Thank you for being a friend.**
Next
Ok, so after about twenty blogs complaining about the guys I meet, I finally met a ncie one.
And I'm not interested.
I know, I know. Never satisfied. But let me tell you how it went down.
I was in the nail salon, and he was next to me getting a manicure. (don't worry, he got them buffed, no polish - I checked.) We started up a conversation, and I enjoyed talking to him. No sparks or fireworks, just good conversation. He asked for my number, I gave it to him, blah blah blah, fast-forward to the date.
He shows up at my door with a bottle of wine (not too cheap, not too expensive), which was a very nice gesture. As we walked to our destination, he made sure to walk on the outside of the sidewalk, held my arm as I stepped over a pothole, etc. This guy pulled out all the stops.
We sat down to dinner, and the next thing I know, a couple of hours had passed, and I was still the only one talking. I started getting a bit paranoid about being self-absorbed.
ME:
Am I talking too much?HIM:
No, no! I like hearing you talk. Please continue.So I did. Then I got tired of hearing myself talk. He didn't. Then it hit me: sheer and utter boredom. This guy was so nice, bless his heart, but he was boring me to tears. I knew enough about him, it's not like he didn't talk at all, but the conversation was just...eh. He didn't make me laugh, he didn't make me react at all. We were just talking. I could talk to some random stranger in line at the grocery store and feel the same way I felt talking to him.
So now I'm torn between the He Deserves A Chance Second Date, and Complete Avoidance. There was nothing
wrong with him, so why not go for the second date, right? Maybe he gets funnier and more charismatic over time. But I keep thinking of other things I have to do in order to get out of it. So basically, subconsciously, I don't
want to go on a second date.
If I were to ask a question right now, I probably have already answered it. See, I'm getting better about that.
So I guess I'm just not that into him. Not his fault. Not my fault. It is just not gonna happen. Now for the fun part.
Letting him know I'm not interested. And for bonus points, not apologizing for it. *sigh*
To be continued...
Left-Brainer's Lament
Hello, my name is DramaQueen, and I am left-brained. Well, mostly left-brained. Experts say that there are people that mostly think with the left side of their brains, and some the right. The right side is supposedly the logical side, and the left side is the emotional side.
I have found myself to be mostly a left-brained thinker. It's a gift and a curse.
It's a gift because I easily feel compassion and empathy, and I am always aware of how I feel. I can rarely accurately put my thoughts into words, but the times I am able to do so, I am most likely explaining the way I feel about something. It's a curse because to people who don't know me, it makes me appear naive, dumb, overly-emotional, and it makes people take my kindness for weakness.
The left side of my brain kept me away from my beloved blog for about a month. I am fully aware that people have the right to post their views and opinions in Blog World - it's a free space, and you can't get in trouble for thinking a certain way. But the comments left on my recent blog before this one left me...well, offended. I felt personally attacked and my feelings were hurt. I had to pause.
It took me a month to realize that, if this person can write whatever they feel like writing in this free space, then so can I. One person's opinion should not send me running away from Blog World, with my precious thoughts packed up in my briefcase. I knew that those accusations weren't even true. If I had been thinking with the right side of my brain, I would have known earlier that the logical thing to do would be to acknowledge the person's opinion, disagree, and keep it moving.
So consider this post the beginning of me waking up the right side of my brain and keeping it moving.
But just because the right side of my brain is alert and motivated doesn't mean that the left side of my brain is being put to sleep. Balance is essential. Look out, Blog World.
Speaking from my therapists' couch...directly to my over-protective friends...
DramaQueen is back. How ya like that? ;o)
