The Object of my Affection
Has anyone noticed the similarities between Black women and gay men?Maybe it's just me, but it seems as if a lot of gay men (no matter their race or ethnicity) have a lot in common with Black women. Now I have always been a bit of a Fag Hag, but I am starting to notice a correlation.
Most Black women have at least one good, gay male friend. I realize that this all sounds stereotypical, but I am speaking from my personal experiences. I cannot tell you how many times I have looked over at my outrageously handsome and outrageously gay male friend, and wished to God that he was straight. And he has often said the same about me.
Here are the qualities I see in my gay male friend. He's almost perfect - he's everything you could possibly want in a guy. All of the sensitivity and empathy a man can possibly have, a great sense of style, and a touch (or more) of pure masculinity. He cares about what I think of everything, from my outfit to my career. It is nice how he is not threatened by my friendships with other men. That is my ideal mate...Without the gay part, of course.
Now here is what I see in gay men that I also see in Black women; a strong sense of self. A confidence unparalleled by any other walking this earth. A fuck you, I don't give a fuck what you think of me, this is who I am, who I will always be so deal with it attitude. When one is forced into an under-priveledged position, I believe one must adopt this attitude to survive.
See the similarities now?
I wonder what relationships are like for him; he seems to have the same problems I have most of the time. I wonder if he thinks I am as perfect for him as I think he would be for me...You know, if the whole gay thing weren't an issue.
I see myself walking down the street, hand in hand with my (gay) boyfriend...And for a moment I pretend he is mine...impeccably dressed and incredibly handsome...he is so sweet, so openly affectionate...so understanding of me and what I go through and who I am as a person, not just as a woman or his woman...then some cute guy walks by and we both turn to look; my reverie is broken, and I snap back into reality. I wonder what he is thinking as we walk...
That I would be perfect for him, if only I were a gay man? We promised each other two children if neither of us were attached by the age of 40...
I've decided, that's it. Just like Jennifer Anniston in that movie Object Of My Affection. We are perfect for each other.
Except for the fact that he doesn't possess the one quality I can count on every straight man in the world to have, if nothing else - the desire to want to jump my bones. Perhaps sex is overrated...
yeah, right.
*sigh*
posted by DramaQueen @ 11:55 AM
4 Comments:
You are on point as usual with the correlations between gay men and black women.
There also is a level of resentment I think between the two as well. Each side is thinking how easy it would be if the other side could be what they wanted.
It's just one of the jokes that God likes to play on us I suppose. Sorta like the Platypus.
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I was watching this documentary where Melvin Van Peebles made the same observation and it really distrubed me. He said that he didn't know if his muse was a woman (he didn't say black, but he acted the muse out and she was all rubber-necked and finger-snapping--so I assumed she was supposed to represent someone like me. that's how my kind is always caricatured) or a gay man. whatever his muse was, he was saying that his muse was a pest--unagreeable, moody, bossy, and insecure. You certainly didn't say any of these things and I think that your observations are intersting ones...but I couldn't help but tell about Father Van Peebles and his ideas concerning the same similarities of personality.
Co-sign. Very on point. Visions of the gay men I know flashing through my head.
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