Something's Gotta Give
So we're back to relationships. I tried to stay away from the topic for fear of my blog becoming "The Relationship Blog". But one of my biggest fears is growing old alone. I know I'm young, but I'm too old to change. And after so many let-downs, one begins to say to herself, maybe it's me...But it's not. I am an ideal candidate...kind of. I am smart, affectionate, open-minded, sexual, cute, funny, and lovable. I also have a tendency to move chasing my career, which seems to be having trouble taking off, I have a very untraditional daily routine, I don't take to kindly to being told what to do, and surprisingly enough, I tend to intimidate men...go figure!
It doesn't have to happen like it does in the movies, I just don't want to find myself being the cool older lady on the block. The one who always has some cookies or treats for the kids, and the grown folks come over on the weekends to play cards. And everyody in the neighborhood talks about her behind her back: She's so cool...wonder why she never married? Such a shame...
If it is my destiny to grow old alone, I wish I knew now so I could really let go and have some fun.
I blame my mother for my impatience. She was married at 19 and had her first baby at 22. Seems young, right? But now, my mother is 47, bursting with youth, and is more fun now than she was growing up, and believe me, she was loads of fun while she was raising me. She still kisses her husband in the kitchen, and even though she denies, I know they still get it on. I want that. I want to know that I am capable of that. When I was in high-school, I wanted to be done having my kids at 27. You can laugh here if you want.
I am scared to death of committing to one person, but I swear to myself that if I ever got the chance with the right one, I wouldn't fuck it all up.
Ah, the game of chance. For every five guys I give my number to, one of them may call. And turn out to be an ass-crack. And the one I actually am interested in...we won't even go there. That blog to come in the near future.
Sick and Tired of having the same compaints, sick and tired of being lonely, sick and tired of trying to figure shit out, sick and tired of wondering if it's me, and sick and tired of blogging about why I don't have anyone. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.
When does 'when I least expect it' happen?? I always don't expect it, so there goes that. I have adopted the 'Just Give Them A Chance' doctrine, and that is always a miserable flop. So now I just wait, alone and lonely, waiting for this wonderful man to just pop up on my doorstep.
Something's Gotta Give.
posted by DramaQueen @ 2:41 PM
2 Comments:
You sound like me a couple of years ago, and look at me now. Didn't one of your post about being patient? You have to be patient for and believe that you are being made into the perfect woman for the man that's to come in your life.
Back then not having kids at the age of 27 was rare. Now, having kids by the time yo're 27 is rare. I don't plan on having kids until I'm in my 30's, and trust me, I'm in no rush.
What D said. I don't know. I guess it will happen in the fullness of time. Right?
Don't start flipping out. Don't put undue pressure on yourself either. Your Mom's time and ours are completely different. I never even considered marriage much less kids by 27. Back in the day folks were on kid 3 or 4 by then.
Our priorities are different and we have more on our plate nowadays.
I guess you gotta take it as it comes, but for now just do you. You'll probably trip over THE ONE in the interim
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