What About Your Friends?
TLC were a bunch of young girls themselves when this song came out.My mind rushes back to high school, when in my opinion, things were a lot simpler. By the second year there, you had your group of girlfriends; your clique, if you will. You knew who your best friends were because they were the ones that you had to talk to on the phone every night before you went to bed, and you had to spend every weekend together whether it was their house or yours, and they were the first ones you called when your crush said hi to you for the first time. You arranged your class schedule so that if you couldn't have at least one class with them, you could all have lunch together.
And when things went wrong, it was because he said that she said that Monifa said that Jackie said that your friend was talking about you behind your back (gasp)! When there was trouble in the clique, the whole school knew about it, and people immediately start taking sides. Your classes with that friend are uncomfortable, and lunchtime is unbearable. But after about a week or so, that one friend that couldn't pick sides decides to mediate. You forgot what you were fighting about, and by the time the bus comes, all is well. You're already making plans for the weekend.
Then you become an adult.
You can only get together for an occasional after-work happy hour, and that rare weekend when you all have nothing else planned with the significant other or the family. Your friends are good for so much more than just good cafeteria gossip; they are there for you, and better know how to communicate....
So what do you do when there is trouble in the Grown-Up Clique?
You don't see your friends every day, so there are no funny stares across the lunchroom. You can only wonder what is happening in other lines of communication that don't include you, and that one friend that can't choose sides is tired of hearing both of them. You feel yourself slipping away from friends you thought you would have for life...what do you do?
How do you know if the friendship is worth the heartache? On one hand, a good friendship should have enough of a foundation to where you should be able to talk things through and get to the root of the problem. On the other hand, you are a grown-ass woman and have little time to be going back and forth and racking your brain over a friend that may have only been meant to be in your life for a reason or a season instead of a lifetime.
You have a million things to worry about; the bills gotta be paid whether you have friends or not.
So what about your friends? At a certain age, you should know who your real friends are, right? Should the question be 'what are you doing wrong' if you don't?
The saying goes that some people are meant to be in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime...and it sucks when you don't know if your "friend's" reason has been processed or their season has come and gone.
posted by DramaQueen @ 2:06 PM
3 Comments:
Your'e in it for a lifetime, sorry boo! :o)
Good question DQ! I've learned that life is temporary and unfortunetly sometimes friendships are too.
I don't know about everyone else in your life, but I'm in for the long haul. Hell I must be since I reached out to you and I NEVER do that.
There was something about you that I like and still do.
Plus I mean to watch you get famous girlfriend so I can say I knew her when.....
well, miss DQ, i am in total agreement in this one here. i know exactly where you are coming from and i wish that i could answer your questions. i myself am wondering the same thing. see, for me, it's a little different though becaus i don't have any friends that have been there for a lifetime. what does that say for me? am i not meant to have friends for life? is that possible? or is it that i am so used to moving around from when i was growing up that it is really hard for me to keep friendships? could my fear of commitment be bleeding into all of my friendships as well as relationships? who do you turn to when you don't know who's fault it is that a friendship has gone awry?
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