Can You Feel It?
First of all, before I get deep, moving is a bitch. Just had to say that. I hope I don't have to do it again until I am rich enough to have people do it all for me; the packing and everything. I am trying to just show up at the house, you know what I'm saying?Back to the topic at hand. I had a friend text message me today. She told me that she had been getting a weird vibe concerning me and felt that all was not right with me. I immediately thought of all the things going wrong in my life at the present time, and was wowed by her intuition. This a pretty good friend of mine, but by no means are we really close. I mean, I haven't heard from her in about six months, and then she comes with this!
I think I was momentarily blinded by what I like to call Horoscope Syndrome. Whether you believe in that stuff or not, tell me you have never read your horoscope and found a way to make it come true for you. What is that about? If it says that today you will make a big decision concerning your finances, you immediately start thinking...well, I was going to get a hot dog for lunch, but said forget that, I'm having steak and salad! You get me???
Why, when I received that message, didn't I think, well, actually, I have clothes on my back, food in my fridge, and a rof over my head, so hey, I am alright. Sure, I have some things weighing heavy on my mind, but seriously...when have I not?? If my mind were my body, it would be extremely tired and achy by now, probably swollen in most places from over-exertion.
Then my mind began to wander (surprise, surprise) to how I feel about people and how they feel about me. I often make myself believe that the people that are in my life are there because there was something about their spirit that attracted me to them. I believe I can feel people's spirit, which explains why sometimes, no matter how "nice" you are, I still ain't feelin' you. No explanation needed. Do people feel that way about me? Was this friend of mine so intuned with our estranged relationship that she still, from time to time, feels my spirit and when I need to be reached out to? My mother is a pro at it, but of course, she has had years of practice.
Are there people in your life with a presence so strong that you can just feel them?
I can honestly say that all of the people in my life that I am close to (not neccessarily close to me) have something about their spirit that I can speak on if I have to, it is that apparent. After this text message, I wonder if this was true for me to, or was this a classic case of running down the phone numbers in your cell phone and coming across someone you just ain't heard from in a grip. Or worse, that I am just the worse victim of Horoscope Syndrome (even when my horoscope says it is time for Spring Cleaning, I convince myself that something has been telling me to clean my dirty room...) and have once again allowed my feelings and intuition to spiral out of control.
Some people use this logic to explain why they fall in love in three days or have a best friend after five hours of you do what? Me too, girl!!!
At this stage in my life, I want my feelings and intuition to start sharpening and start to filter out some of the bullshit people in my life.
They say people can come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
Now how do you feel about that?
I feel like scrolling through my phonebook and seeing how everybody is doing.
posted by DramaQueen @ 4:17 AM
1 Comments:
i say sometimes when people call you and say that "they knew something was happening with you" it could be because someone saw you and told them you didn't look well or some other thing. on the other hand, there will be times when people will "just" think about you and want to be in touch. i wouldn't take it too serious. as for sometimes not hearing from people in a while: sometimes the absence of that person is the beginning of that person's cycle out of your life. you should say, "thank my lucky stars that person is gone." when you have that "i don't care how nice that person is, i can't feel them," that's your intuition sending you a warning. i always know when i'm getting ready to let a person go in my life, i have this strange sensation on my back, it's just a knowing. when i was in therapy, my therapist taught me to "honor" what my body is saying to me about environments and people. sometimes you might break out in hives or another rash. i remember lauryn hill talking her skin breaking out in all these white spots when she wasn't honoring herself. as women, we often try to ignore what we are "really" feeling for the sake of everyone else's feelings. this past year has been a year of getting those people out of my life who don't give a "shit" about me, from the friend who told me every time we talked on the phone that "she loved me," but let me use her and the gas level was completely passed empty. i didn't think i would make it out of the parking spot. when i got in the car, i couldn't believe it. i kept asking myself would i do this to her, and my answer kept coming up NO!!! so when we didn't talk for a while, i didn't bother reconnecting with her. so if you are trying to figure out whether it's "horoscope" or "intuition," i say trust what "you" are feeling and the hell with the rest of it.
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