When I am gone, what will they say?
Those are lyrics to a song that I sang at my great-grandmother's funeral. I also sang it at my friend and sorority sister's wake. Here is the complete chorus:When I am gone, what will they say, when I am gone
Will I leave behind a witness that will carry on
Will all the works and deeds that I have done quickly fade into the past
Lord, let your fire burn steadfast
When I am gone
I was thinking about this the other day; how will people react when I am gone? Or rather, what people think of me? Will they remember how big my heart was, or will they remember how overly sensitive I was? Will they wonder why I died single, or wonder just how significant my other was?
I don't know why, but I think of this often. I am no stranger to death - I have had someone close to me (not including family) die every other year of my life, starting when I was only four years old and my little best friend died of complications from sickle cell, to my junior year in college when I had finally decided to give this brotha some play only to see his face all over the news because the Cincinnati police had choked him to death.
Every other year like clockwork. I almost came to expect death, unlike most people who secretly think that they and their surrounding association are immortal.
I remember thinking the most random things about them. How my great-grandmother was always so happy to see me, but never even knew my name when I visited her in the nursing home.
Or how when I was in high school, the one girl who hated me the most had finally decided that it was more worth it to be my friend. She loved to play in my hair, and one day she put a beautiful French braid in it. I was still wearing that braid later that night when I saw on the news that she had been caught in a crossfire and shot to death. I didn't take that braid out for days. I never remembered her for how smart she was, only how she never really had a reason to hate me in the first place.
What I remember most about my friend Tim is how we were Pictionary champions for an entire summer - 20 to 0; we were undefeated. I would draw a stick figure with a fist in the air, and he would yell out "Nelson Mandela!" and we would win the game.
I don't remember the great things that people did. So will people remember random, quirky things about me? Will my one drama professor remember how much we used to butt heads? Will my ex remember how much I cried when he dumped me?
You can do al the great things in the world, but I have resolved to believe that the one thing you wil be remembered for, in every situation, is being you. Whatever you were at that moment in time in your life, THAT is what you'll remembered for. At least that's what I think.
When I am gone, what will they say...
posted by DramaQueen @ 3:21 AM
3 Comments:
Excellent post girl!
They will remember that you are an awesome talent
They'll remember that familiar voice with the southern twang that came and went
They'll remember that heart of yours.
But we don't need to work on elegys yet. You are still here and I'm thankful for it.
Ok. I have to say that that was a very good point. It makes me think of things that I have done to people in the past that were not right. What will those people think of me when I pass? I believe that we have a duty as not only humans, but as WOMEN, to try our very best to do right by who we can. There are too many times in my opinion when this is hard to do but if we can stay positive, positive things "should" come back to us. But I don't think that you have anything to worry about. You are a beautiful person inside and out!!! You are talented and the world has YET to see what you have to offer!!! This was an excellent point. And it made me think. Thank you for that!! :)
Love Ya....
I used to think about that too, and I realize that people are going to remember you the way they want to remember you. I am currently at the point in my life where I want to do God's service on this earth. So that when I'm gone God can say that I have done good work because my work has touched the lives of others. Your talent, your heart, you, are a gift that God has given you. You are touching the lives of others through your struggles and through your joy. When you are gone people will remember the way you touched their hearts.
Post a Comment
<< Home