Unanswered Booty Call
I never post twice in one day, but I am about to spit BB's I'm so pissed.
Here is a little back story for you: There was a guy. We'll call him Nick. I met him in a bar. We talked; the brotha seemed intense. I was immediately attracted. He called me a few times, I called him a few times - we were having a hard time connecting. So he stopped connecting. Every now and then we would run into each other at the mutual hangout; I would get a late-night phone call, just to talk. Then it stopped. Whatever, I wasn't disappointed or anything. I figured he just wasn't feeling me. Months go by. A cordial hello when I see him. a few phone calls. Then no phone calls. Cut to about a half an hour ago:
1:30 AMMe: hello?
Him: Hey, what's up?Me: Hi. How are you?
Him: Chillin', chillin'. What are you up to?Me: the same. Just watching television. A little late for a week night, isn't it?
Him: I ain't got shit to do tommorrow.Me: Oh, I see. So...what's up?
Him: Nothin. What's been up with you lately?Me: Yeah, it has been a while...
Him: Same ole?Me: yeah, pretty much.
Him: So, I was hoping I could see you.Me: Ok...wait, tonight?
Him: Yeah, like now.Me: Oh, I'm in for the night. I'm in my pj's.
Him: I just wanted to swing through, you know, see you for a minute.Me: You wanna come over here tonight?
Him: Yeah...I'll sleep on the couch, so it's nothing like that...Me: Naw, I don't think so.
Him: I can't come see you?Me: Nick, are you really calling me at 1:30 in the morning trying to come over here?
Him: I just got back in town tonight. I just got back into Brooklyn just a little while ago.Me: I just saw you last weekend.
Him: I went out of town. Look, I'm not trying to come over and start nothing, I just wanted to chill.Me: I'm not saying that..it's just...
Him: (cutting me off) So...no? Alright, cool. Alright. I understand.
(sarcasm here)Me: I didn't mean to be accusatory.
Him: It sounds like it.Me: Well, I didn't mean to be.
Him: Well, get some sleep. I'll holla atcha later.Me: Goodnight.
Him: yeah.You know, I forgot I had that sign on my forehead the last time I saw him...you know, the one that reads "Stuck On Stupid" across the front. Seriously? Men never cease to amaze me. We haven't gone on so much as one date, I have never even seen what you look like in
daylight and you are going to call me at 1:30 in the morning to come over here and
chill?!?!?!?!
Wow. I haven't heard from this brotha in over a month. And when you decide you want to hang out with me, it's during booty call hours. NO ONE has good intentions at 1:30 in the morning, I should know. That really pissed me off. Not that he tried to come over here, but that he actually thought I would think he wasn't going to try anything. I am so much better than being somebody's 1:30 am company.
I sweated this guy, too. I thought he was so nice, and I really wanted to get to know him. And he evaporated from my life; his choice. Then had the nerve to give me attitude when he couldn't come over and crash on my couch a month later. Which, by the way, we all know he had no intentions of doing.
Ladies (and gentlemen if it applies), please speak on this if you think I overreacted. Am I just being an ABW (Angry Black Woman)? I really liked this guy at one point. We always called each other to see if we can connect and hang out, and now when he tries to, I say no.
Enough of Devil's Advocate, fuck that.
Sprint should offer a special Booty Call Block; I'd pay extra for that. Even my voicemail would have rejected that bullshit.
I'm No Carrie Bradshaw
I was watching Sex in the City reruns last night, and I realized just how opposite my life is from the girls on that show. I am single, and I live in New York City, but wouldn't you know, it is not the same.
Carrie once said that she feels like New York is her one true love. Like she was in a relationship with her beloved city.
Well, New York and I have an abusive relationship. NYC consistently kicks my ass every chance he gets.
Let's make some comparisons, shall we? All of the girls have great jobs that they love. In my small group of friends here in the city, I would say 90% of us hate our jobs. I would love to blog for a deadline once a week, and spend the rest of the time dating, drinking martinis, and going to Central Park. Alas, I have bills to pay.
None of them ever take public transportation. Must be nice not to have to bump elbows during rush hour with a man whose last shower was probably before I moved here . And he's the one who wants to hang on to the overhead bar instead of the one you just reach out and hold.
I'm positive that all of my friends put together don't have the shoe collection that Carrie has, and I'm sure my friends make more money than she does. She has about $8,000 worth of shoes. Do you know what I could with $8,000? Be a happy New Yorker, that's what. Or at least a New Yorker with a little less debt.
*For the avid watchers - when myself or my friends find a great guy like Aidan, we don't fuck it up by sleeping with the asscrack who broke our hearts...we marry them. (shout out to Max and D!)
Samantha probably has more sex than all of us put together. I don't know this for sure, but most conversations with my friends consists of bouts of irregularity and period cramps as opposed to who got great head or the best orgasm the night before. I could be wrong, but I doubt we are getting it like those girls.
The SITC girls always meet stockbrokers and bankers and men with great and interesting jobs. I meet men who still live with their mothers and are in the process of starting an "internet business" as soon as they get some money or some equally dumb shit like that.
And I guess the weather in HBO's New York is slightly different; I never see them trudging through five feet of snow to meet for brunch. Hell, I have never seen them in appropriate outer wear for New York weather!
Maybe my experience with New York is different because I'm not from here; I'm an implant. I have little to no loyalty. I am only happy here when I have a good gig, enough money to dispose of, not have to ride the subway to get to where I'm going, and I am convinced that my husband lives down South somewhere, giving his momma flowers or something.
But I can say this; I wouldn't have been able to make it this far without the support of my Mirandas, my Charlottes, and my Samanthas. You know who you are ladies. Whether we are talking about poop, periods, or food...you make this city bearable. Even without the Sex!
Little Known Things About Me
Ok, here goes. No gasping out loud!
- I love inappropriate music. The nastier the lyrics, the better. I am one of those people that supports the artists' original vision, no matter how raunchy. I can do without the corny blank spaces and bleeps and such. I'm grown, and I can handle it.
- I talk to myself...a lot. I sometimes have to catch myself on the train so people won't think I'm crazy. Also, so I won't attract other crazies. I was once told that talking to yourself is a sign of intelligence...
- When I was little, I used to eat butter! And mayonnaise, and icing, and anything that is not supposed to be eaten without the support of other food. I still can be found with my finger in a tub of icing, cookie dough, and caramel sauce.
- I love Disney cartoon movies. I can sit and watch The Little Mermaid from start to finish for the 30th time. Can't help it.
- I own porn. That's right, I do. Deal with it. I'm grown.
- I love Brazilian music. There is something about people singing in Portugeuese that is pleasing to my ears. I have a pretty extensive collection of Latin jazz.
- I have a wide knowledge of television theme songs. I mean, I can sing every lyric too, not just hum the tune. I used to do them for show and tell at school; a different one every Friday. And when I got tired of that, I memorized commercials and recited them word for word.
- I have OCD when it comes to my bed covers. I cannot STAND messy bedcovers, I don't care what went down. I have serious issues when folks tangle themselves up in sheets and comforters. Drives me nuts.
Ok, that's enough humiliation for now.
Something's Gotta Give
So we're back to relationships. I tried to stay away from the topic for fear of my blog becoming "The Relationship Blog". But one of my biggest fears is growing old alone. I know I'm young, but I'm too old to change. And after so many let-downs, one begins to say to herself, maybe it's me...
But it's not. I am an ideal candidate...kind of. I am smart, affectionate, open-minded, sexual, cute, funny, and lovable. I also have a tendency to move chasing my career, which seems to be having trouble taking off, I have a very untraditional daily routine, I don't take to kindly to being told what to do, and surprisingly enough, I tend to intimidate men...go figure!
It doesn't have to happen like it does in the movies, I just don't want to find myself being the cool older lady on the block. The one who always has some cookies or treats for the kids, and the grown folks come over on the weekends to play cards. And everyody in the neighborhood talks about her behind her back:
She's so cool...wonder why she never married? Such a shame...If it is my destiny to grow old alone, I wish I knew now so I could really let go and have some fun.
I blame my mother for my impatience. She was married at 19 and had her first baby at 22. Seems young, right? But now, my mother is 47, bursting with youth, and is more fun now than she was growing up, and believe me, she was loads of fun while she was raising me. She still kisses her husband in the kitchen, and even though she denies, I know they still get it on. I want that. I want to know that I am capable of that. When I was in high-school, I wanted to be done having my kids at 27. You can laugh here if you want.
I am scared to death of committing to one person, but I swear to myself that if I ever got the chance with the right one, I wouldn't fuck it all up.
Ah, the game of chance. For every five guys I give my number to, one of them may call. And turn out to be an ass-crack. And the one I actually am interested in...we won't even go there. That blog to come in the near future.
Sick and Tired of having the same compaints, sick and tired of being lonely, sick and tired of trying to figure shit out, sick and tired of wondering if it's me, and sick and tired of blogging about why I don't have anyone. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.
When does 'when I least expect it' happen?? I always don't expect it, so there goes that. I have adopted the 'Just Give Them A Chance' doctrine, and that is always a miserable flop. So now I just wait, alone and lonely, waiting for this wonderful man to just pop up on my doorstep.
Something's Gotta Give.
My Googlism
Ok, I got this from Max and thought it was cute. You go to the website www.googlism.com and type in your name. It then pulls up every sentence that starts with [your name here] is...
Here is what came up for me (I also starred my favorites):
torie is the ghost of the total package
torie is the ghost of perfection*
torie is a hand blown cased glass pendant or wall sconce that prov ides d own light and diffused light*
torie is as real
torie is my favorite type of heroine*
torie is now 3½ months old nearly 4
torie is one of the original members of nomad squadron and one of only 2 character's that i know of*
torie is the snowman of the total package
torie is a strong character*
torie is invited to playdates and birthday parties along with everyone else in her class*
torie is one of the few mini schnauzers with both a championship and an obedience title
torie is about a year old and a darling little girl
torie is my name
torie is the daughter of a copacabana singer who was discovered by milton berle*
torie is currently paying $1
torie is available at the students' union welfare office if you would like to have an informal chat about your financial situation*
torie is exceptionally independent and stubborn*
torie is qwerty's partner for the boys in blue
torie is the little sister of absentminded*
torie is sponsored by the newkirk business club
torie is a great character whose struggles with her professional and personal lives*
torie is my oldest nephew
torie is divorced
torie is one of at least four sufferers of the disease with ties to the local navy junior reserve officer training corps
torie is in middle school and 13 in the 8th grade
torie is the most common
torie is at the focal point of a family feud
torie is 2 1/2 years old and would be a big help on your cleaning days
torie is a very sweet person
torie is nuts about him
torie is now doing volunteer work for courage center in golden valley
torie is also way too precocious*
torie is very opinionated*
torie is having a bit of a spasm
torie is the 1994 spelling bee champ
torie is having it a bit rough right now
torie is summoned by clarissa for the reading of her will
torie is having such a blast
torie is majoring in biology
torie is currently majoring in visual and public arts
torie is right*
torie is currently executive director of the liberty hill foundation
torie is our utility player of the year
torie is lousy company when they are gone
torie is asked to research the life a jazz singer popular in the 30?s
torie is getting a chance to pull the otoliths from the fish herself and working on juvenile otoliths
torie is also ill
torie is a tax manager and is responsible for coordinating tax reporting and consulting engagements for closely
torie is very smart and out
torie is a pathetic loser
torie is a brit with great taste
torie is found standing over clarissa's body holding a pillow*
torie is tired*
torie is involved through her job at usc with the film industry and michael is retired from it
torie is staying busy with film and news crews going through her office when they want to film on the university of southern california
torie is over the worst of it*
torie is not careful*
torie is a cheerleader for anyone who's coming out*
torie is sitting here with me and we are crying together over all the beautiful angels in the heavenly playground*
torie is very cool
Weird huh?
