SoulSurvivor

Friday, November 24, 2006

Thankful

So around this time every year, I ponder what I'm thankful for. I'm thankful for the usual blessings...my family, my friends, my job, my shelter.

But as I look back over the course of the past year, I have to say that the toughest thing for me was making decisions. The whole year was filled with heavy decision making...and I'm still standing. So I think what I am most thankful for is the gift of free will. All my "bad" decisions I have learned from, and I'm reaping the benefits of the good ones. Either way, it's a winner. Anything to ease the process of life, I'm thankful for.

I'm thankful for all of my blessings. But for a sound mind and the gift of free will, I give humble thanks as I conquer another year.

Monday, October 09, 2006

5 Years

How different were you 5 years ago?

September 2001

How old were you? 21

Where did you go to school? University of Cincinnati

Where did you work? Siddall Hall Front Desk and Cincinnati Playhouse

Where did you live? Cincinnati, OH

Where did you hang out? my apartment, mostly - it was kind of a hub

How was your hair? permed and just past my shoulders

Did you wear glasses? nope

Who was your best friend? Kelly and Nikki

Who was your regular-person crush? Ronnie

How many tattoos did you have? none

How many piercings did you have? none

What car did you drive? 96 Geo Prism named Miracle

What was your worst fear? not doing well in the showcase and moving to NYC

Had you smoked a cigarette yet? nope

Had you been arrested? nope

Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter: Taken

**LETS SEE WHAT YOU ARE NOW !!!!!**

September 2006:

How old are you? 26

Where do you work? PS 54 Elementary School in Brooklyn

same town? nope, Brooklyn, NY now.

Where do you hang out? my living room

Do you wear glasses? nope

What is your hairstyle? proudly rockin' a curly natural

Who are your best friends? Kelly and Nikki

Still talk to any of your old friends? yep

How many piercings do you have? 2

How many tattoos? one

What kind of car do you have? 2006 MTA (ha ha)

What is your biggest fear? not making the right decisions

Have you been arrested since if so how many times total? no

Has your heart been broken? yes

Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter: Taken

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Spring Summer Feeling...

Feeling the way I do
It's hard to keep focus
One mintue staring at the moon
Next into your eyes
And it's no surprise
that my knees weaken
At the lovely words you're speakin'

so now I know why I needed to reconcile the Ones from my Past. To prepare for my Future.

oh...and my new teaching job is pretty awesome too. ;o)

Friday, September 15, 2006

They Always Come Back...

I haven't decided yet wether or not this is a bad thing...but lately, people (men) from my past keep popping back into my life. Just recently. It is strange to me. Some I haven't heard from in months, and some I haven't heard from in years.

I may be reading too much into this, but in my mind, this could mean one of two things:

- that something big is about to happen, it will change my life, and I need resolve any issues I have with my past.
- that I am really sucky at resolving things, and it is all coming back to bite me in my behind or force me to resolve it.

It all comes back to resolution. I am realizing that I am horrible at closure. It's funny; if I am on the other end, I damn near demand it. I need closure in my life. But on my terms. I guess we all have a selfish side...

But looking back, I know that I did not resolve things properly with any of these people...and some deliberately so. I simply checked out. No discussion, no parting gifts or consolation prizes. I passed go, grabbed my $200, and bounced.

Why? I'm finding that as an adult, it is so easy for me to cut off contact if I simply don't want to deal. Now I'm not recognizing phone numbers anymore and getting caught up. What the heck do I say now?

I don't meant to sound dramatic, but I have a feeling that some shit is about to hit the fan...maybe in a good way; maybe in a bad way.

I just hope I'm ready.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

It's About Time....

...beat you to it. I had to take a summer to gather my thoughts, and they still aren't all together yet. Here are a few things I learned this summer:

1. I can be really lazy.

2. I can work harder than I ever thought I could.

3. I am ____sick. Figure it out (hint: it ain't home!)

4. With the decisions I have had to make as of late, I should never complain about not knowing what I'm gonna wear.

5. I have a HUGE support system that I am so grateful for!

6. people actually read my blog, LOL.

7. In a quest for life-long happiness, it's easy to miss or overlook the moments of it.

8. I can no longer eat whatever I want.

9. Money isn't everything; just mostly everything.

10. I consider myself to be a Renaissance Woman, and screw anyone who doesn't agree.

That's enough for now. Blog vacation over. Let's get to it. :)

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Who You Wit?

God determines who walks into your life....it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay,and who you refuse to let go."- Anonymous

I saw this quote somewhere else today, and it really made me think. I often think about how people are placed in my life for a reason...

but I never think about me being placed in anyone's life for a reason. Sounds simple enough...but alas and alack...it is not.

How do you know? Sometimes I look at people around me, at how I treat them, how they treat me, how they behave...and I look heaven-ward and ask...really Lord? WHY?? If nothing else, it is my desire to fulfill God's purpose in life for me...so if this person is supposed to be here...so be it.

But what is my purpose in other people's life? Am I supposed to be teaching lessons? Setting examples? Being a friend, being a shoulder...and most importantly...

what happens if I fail?

It's one thing to muck up my life...it's something else to not do right by someone else's. Lord knows I've let some people stay when they should have been exiled from my life, and let some people go that maybe deserved a second (or third...or fourth) chance.

God's greatest gift to us is Free Will...and patience is a virtue...and guidance is divine.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

The Double F

forbidden fruit
Function: noun
Etymology: from the forbidden fruit of the Garden of Eden in Gen 3:2-19: an immoral or illegal pleasure

hmmm...DramaQueen, thy name is Eve. That's enough for now.